Fifty Things I Will Teach My Son – by James


I’ve asked James for a while to write something for the blog. And finally, here it is………..

1. Big is beautiful.
2. Always league, never union. – despite what your mum and Grandad say. Dad knows best!
3. Always say please.
4. Always say thank you.
5. Veg is good.
6. Veg is better when accompanied with steak. (Well done obv)
7. Medium/Rare is for weirdos.
8. Cheese is the solution to all of your aunt’s problems. Just not mild cheddar.
9. Daddy is built for speed not power, that’s what uncles are for.
10. Aviation is a way of life, not a hobby.
11. The above does not make you a nerd, mum is wrong.
12. Cars are safer than bikes. But I understand!
13. You can never have enough coats.
14. Nor enough T-shirts.
15. £150 on walking pants is cool. £40 on jeans is pushing it.
16. No, you won’t be going on my insurance.
17. Yes I will teach you to drive…grandad’s car.
18. Climbing will teach you more about a friend than any other experience.
19. Algebra……yeah stick with it, better still make friends with someone in the know.
20. Always have a Plan B.
21. And a plan C.
22. Think before you speak.
23. Always be friendly, but firm when required.
24. Travel well, but think outside the box.
25. Don’t join the cops, it’s going to sh*t
26. Embrace technology
27. Have a best friend you can trust.
28. Money trees don’t exist, so your mum tells me.
29. Always have a desire to learn more.
30. Have the desire to achieve more.
31. Help others, but charity begins at home.
32. One day you and I will fly together.
33. Stay fit.
34. Stay healthy.
35. Drugs really are bad, don’t waste your money. Save it for beer and women.
36. Listen in school, if you have to go back when you’re older it’s expensive!
37. We only read instructions weeks after, purely out of curiosity.
38. Knowledge is power.
39. Always lift the seat, it’s not worth the hassle.
40. Avoid the green spotty cups….it’s not worth the hassle.
41. Have a place you hold dear.
42. Have a person you hold dear.
43. Visit that place with that person regularly.
44. Never give up on the one you know is for you.
45. Chuck Norris settles all problems…even if he is 70.
46. Wasting money on things you enjoy is not wasting.
47. Life before iPads, play stations and the web was not that long ago!
48. Horror movies are for weirdos.
49. Strava gives you that competitive edge….but know when to stop.
50. If you find shoes that fit….stock up.


Things I Will Teach My Children – Part 2

So this is the second part of my list for Grace. J is doing the list for Seabass. I imagine I’ll have to write him another one .


51. Cover everything in glitter.
52. Buy an actual grown up tea set. Even if you don’t drink tea.
53. Wear sunglasses like Holly Golightly.
54. Stick quotes in notebooks.
55. Don’t ever be a bully, or be associated with people who are.
56. Tom Cruise is terrible.
57. Keanu Reeves isn’t much better. Or Jim Carrey for that matter.
58. Spend lots of time in the countryside.
59. Buy a house in Trefriw.
60. Eat moules frites.
61. Read a book in the garden of the Rodin.
62. Be romantic.
63. But only with someone who deserves it.
64. Make snow angels.
65. Splash in puddles.
66. There is not enough houmous in the world.
67. Sit with your family and have croissants, cheese and ham for your breakfast.
68. Dye your hair a crazy colour.
69. Buy a really great dining table then create memories around it.
70. Develop a signature dish.
71. Wear Chanel No. 19  – just because you feel like it.
72. Go to the Guggenheim in Venice.
73. Keep a diary.
74. Keep a travel journal.
75. Write a blog.
76. Make it more interesting than mine.
77. Go and see live music in small venues.
78. Have a Bellini in Harry’s Bar (the proper one). 
79. If anyone tries to convince you that a Bellini contains peach schnapps, stop talking to them. 
80. Immediately.
81. Watch Cinema Paradiso and try not to cry.
82. Number 81 can’t be done.
83. We all love you.
84. You make everyone that has the pleasure of knowing you, proud to know you. 
85. Don’t do anything to change that.
86. It’s ok to cry at everything your children do. I cried at your sports day just because you ran.
87. Strangers tell you you’re beautiful. Don’t get big headed about it though 🙂
88. One day everything will head south.
89. It’s important on a night out to make sure you wear shoes you can dance in. None of this stiletto heel rubbish.
90. It’s ok to wear pyjamas and knickers that are 20 sizes too big, for comfort purposes.
91. Don’t waste your time pairing socks after washing them.
92. Reality tv is the worst.
93. Have a dream.
94. Try and achieve it.
95. It’s not ok to dislike cheese. (I imagine your aunt Sophie will think this is the most important thing to teach you.)
96. Savoury is better than sweet.
97. Pineapple on pizza should require you to serve jail time.
98. Have lots of family BBQs. Get your grandma to teach you how to make Moroccan chicken.
99. Run through piles of leaves.
100. I. Love. You. Lots. Like. Jelly. Tots. Eeeeeeeeeeees. Let’s still say this to each other every night. Even when we have to phone each other to do it.
101. Be the best version of you.